Tuesday, 28 December 2004

Is breaking up hard to do ?

This is a public information announcement for all you lovesick Bloggers ! Judging by the number of poems you guys post in your blogs there seems like a fair few of you out there.... (LOL)

This relationship break up formula will now be discussed at length:

Frequency of interaction x Geographic proximity to each other x Emotional investment = difficulty/ease of closure.

Or

FI x GP x EI

Professor Spheric now proceeds to put on a white coat (and white hair wig) and adopt an Einsteinesque persona whilst narrating in a Bavarian-Hannoverian accent:

I vill explain zee formulaic variables above as such. In each case 1 represents the highest difficulty of closure and zero being the easiest:

Frequency of interaction = This is zee the number of times two courting individuals have seen each other in a specified period of time. If you see each other above a certain number of times, then psychologically it starts becomes a part of your personal time schedule. Zee higher the frequency, zee harder it is to break off.

Geographic proximity = Never a truer adage spoken than out of sight out of mind. It is much harder to get closure if two ppl are living very close to each other, as zee probability increases of bumping into each other.

Emotional investment = how much did you invest in that person during the period of the relationship ? If you were relatively independent of each other, and your daily thought processes were not coloured by the presence of that significant other, then it vill be easier to seek closure. If on the hand you could not make a decision without that person and your social status and acceptability was linked to that person, then it vill be harder.

Thus, in the example of a very close couple who have been with each other a long time and live near each other it vill look something like:

0.9 x 0.9 x 0.9 = 0.729 - high difficulty of closure - you will cry and spend all day listening to the catwailing of Naseebo Lal.

For a casual couple it may look something like:

0.6 x 0.7 x 0.4 = 0.168 - easy to get closure...time to open that bottle of Captain Morgan and mark another notch on that bedpost. :)

You have to assign your subjective variable values in zee formula based on how you perceive the relationship.

In true Looney Tunes Bugs Bunny tradition "That's all folks !" ...cue music...

Thursday, 9 December 2004

Days of the Turban

The following excerpt is from one of my favourite novels. Sadly it is out of print, and I bought my copy from a second hand bookshop in Gloucester, England back in 1994.

"The bus will take you there. Now. But before it was wild. Desolate. The backyard of Punjab. Here, in my village, the men carry guns and anger easily between their quotidian farming chores.

These are the men of the far North born out of the forerunners and morass of all civilizations that attacked India through the Himalayan passes. These are the men born out of and into the war.

They carry their bloodshed lightly between jokes and daily lawful living. They are men and women of the earth, as basic as that - as quick to yield harvests of kindness and goodness, as quick to dry up and turn sullen and destroy. These are my people".

From "Days of The Turban - A Novel" (by Partap Sharma)

Tuesday, 7 December 2004

The lost art of the handwritten note

When was the last time you ever received a handwritten note ? (And no, I don't mean one of those yellow Post-It with somebody's scribbles either). When was the last time you ever wrote a letter using a pen, or received one ?

It struck me the other day that we live in an age of de-humanized communications, where the medium reflects little about the person. We have the ubiquitous QWERTY keyboard at our fingertips, email and its many variants such as MSN Messenger, we have mobile phones, pagers and wireless PDA devices, we have Microsoft Word attachments, we can insert smiley icons, and we have fax and video-conferencing. Yes I agree, it's so very convenient and almost effortless to use what current technology has to offer, but have we lost something in the process ?

When I think of friends and family, both past and present, of passing acquaintances and strangers, I am struck by the fact that I hardly read anything by them that was actually handwritten....I kind of view this as a lost opportunity to see a uniquely personal facet of their character, of their soul, something that may have revealed to me some aspect of themselves which I never knew. There is something different about putting pen to paper - I can't quite figure it out - but it feels more personal, almost intimate, when you express yourself this way.

Thoughts ?

Sunday, 5 December 2004

On marriage and the Oedipal complex

Do desi guys display a sense of attachment to their mothers more than other races, and vice versa mothers to son(s) ? If so, is this state of affairs unhealthy and what is the impact (negative or otherwise) on prospective future daughter-in-laws when dealing with her inlaws ? Do wives feel like outsiders, like being married to the mob ? The south asian psyche is littered with references to the joys of having a son, both in geet and fillum - and likewise, there is little idolization of daughter-in-laws, who at best appear subtly marginalised and at worst, are an unwanted participant in an emotionally intensive 'menage a trois' where the other two players are loathed to give space. Conversely, how difficult is it for guys to maintain the balancing act of spending quality time with their partners without feeling guilty about not interacting as frequently with parents as they did in a pre-married era ?

Monday, 22 November 2004

Review: Left Hand of Darkness



Imagine a world where freezing arctic conditions exist all year round, Machiavellian style politics and intrigue prevail, and the inhabitants have the capability to change their gender. These are some of the conditions that face Genly Ai, a lone envoy sent to the planet Winter to offer this alien world a chance to join a trade federation of other planets.

Le Guin's novel is not a new book. It was written back in 1969, but it is well regarded as classic of science fiction. I came across it recently by chance at my local library. The androgynous genderless nature of the near-human citizens on Winter, is one of the central challenges for Ai (and the reader) to cope with, as he has no initial reference point to determine the thinking of those he deals with, and those alien thought processes change as they transform into men or women during the process of 'kemmer' - the sexual reproductive cycle of the inhabitants.

Ai's friendship with Estraven, an exiled dissident on Winter, highlights many of the personal issues that Ai must negotiate. Late on in the book, Estraven metamorphizes into a woman during 'kemmer', challenging the previous platonic basis of their relationship. Estraven's untimely demise and the subsequent grief that Ai feels is one of the more poignant incidents in this novel.

'Left Hand of Darkness' certainly makes you think at many levels, and I give this a 9 out of 10.

Monday, 8 November 2004

Friday, 5 November 2004

Hell on Earth

If India is able to facilitate the exchange of nuclear technology with the United States and launch satellites into space, perhaps at a micro-level they could improve conditions at their bureaucratic outposts around the world ?

Recently I had the misfortune to have to visit the Indian Consulate in Toronto. From the outside, it looks like any other normal building in Toronto, however, it is far from 'normal' inside. Entering the main area was a scene for which the best metaphor I could apply was 'hell on earth'. Your senses are assailed by a tidal wave of brown humanity packed into a room which was designed to only hold a quarter of the people there....jam-packed like Lahore station on the eve of Partition.

The walls are adorned with yellowing tattered posters exhorting the gullible (gora tourists no doubt) to 'Visit India'. You pick a 3 digit ticket to wait in line (eg. E-95) and yet the ticket counter clock is 2 digits in length (eg. 87), and you initially think this is great - not long to go - until you realize the person standing next to you is still waiting and they have B-22, and you still have all of 'C' and 'D' to go through. And the visa application forms on the web are different from the forms you pick up there. Apparently the web version is 'incorrect' and misses such vital details like 'Father's Occupation' and 'Mother's Maiden Name'. So you spend another 15 minutes jostling with Punjabi taxi drivers and emaciated Tamil types, re-filling the visa forms all over again. And it's like bad service has been magically transported from the homeland to Canada.

Signs which read 'Do not shout at staff' are testament to the exemplary service provided by those red tape worshipping baboons sat behind the glass counters.

Making friends too easily ?

Do we accord this status far too easily to recent strangers ? Is it a reflection of our fast paced disconnected society that somebody becomes a 'friend' after only a couple of email exchanges, or a cup of coffee or the odd random chance meeting at some social gathering. Do you feel you have arrived when you can fill up an address book (when you will never see 80% of contacts in a year anyway) ?

Obviously we may have close friends and we may have casual friends, and we each set our own qualifying criteria for promotion (and demotion) between the two categories. Even what constitutes 'close friend' is questionable as how many of us have actually gone through periods of real adversity and tribulation to actually test the 'all-weather' nature of that dosti ??
A recent study suggested that it becomes progressively harder to make new friends after the age of 25. Why is that ? Maybe because power, wealth and status relationships come into play, and you're no longer judged on who you are but what you are...

Is the actual reality that each person is an island onto themself, and that friends will come and go, and your real support network is your own blood family ??

Wednesday, 3 November 2004

4 more years...

So Kerry lost...so what ? The American people exercised their democratic right and chose their leader.

Okay, I admit I was a little despondent watching the results roll in last night. Me and my pal, Chivas Regal, were preoccupied with the state by state breakdown of votes...the map looking increasing red, punctuated by the odd blue for the Democrats.

What struck me was how polarized US society is with an increasing widening schism between northern liberals and an assorted array of coalition partners including anti-war, pro-choice types, and southern/mid-west rural conservatives - you know the types who believe Jesus would vote for Bush...(and what's with those Floridian Cuban-Americans ??) I'm still puzzled at the workings of the electoral college system...never mind, I have another 4 years to work that one out. Now, maybe if Hilary Rodham Clinton was to run for President in 2008..that might be interesting...

Okay, so right now we have another 4 years of Bush...but irrespective of Republican or Democrat:

- 9/11 would have still happened - the future 'clash of the civilizations' is still on the table

- Saudi Arabia is still on the brink of regime collapse

- Kerry's exit strategy from Iraq would be no different from Bush's (coz there is no exit strategy)

- The huge US deficit is still there, fuelled by the import-purchasing behaviour of American consumers, and subsidized by foreign investors

- US would still not ratify the Kyoto Accord on greenhouse gas emissions

- The Hollywood machine will still globally disseminate movies which venerate the cultural values of an anglo-centric imperialist empire.

So dosto, that's my political rant for the day (or year). I shall go back to my unquestioning shell and look forward to watching another superficial episode of 'Everybody Loves Raymond' tonight, as do millions of insular Americans each night.... :)

Thursday, 28 October 2004

A tribute to Waris Shah

This poem from from one of Punjab's best modern day writers,Amrita Pritam, pays tribute to Waris Shah (1719 - 1790) - Punjab's poetic version of Chaucer and author of 'Heer Ranjha'. It is also the opening lines to the movie Pinjar - set against the backdrop of ethnic genocide during the 1947 partition of Punjab.



Aaj aakhan waaris shah nooN kito.n qabra.n vicho.n bol!
te aj kitab-e-ishq da koi agla varka phol!

I say to Waris Shah today, speak from your grave
And add a new page to your book of love

Ik roi si dhii punjab dii tuu likh-likh mare vaiN
aj lakkha.n dheeyan rondian tainuu.n waaris shah nooN kahaN!

Once one daughter of Punjab wept, and you wrote your long saga;
Today thousands weep, calling to you Waris Shah:

uTh darmandaN diaa dardiiaa uTh tak apNa punjaab!
aj bele laashaa.n vichiiaa.n te lahu dii bharii chenaab!

Arise, o friend of the afflicted; arise and see the state of Punjab,
Corpses strewn on fields, and the Chenaab flowing with much blood.

kise ne panja paaNia.n vich dittii zahir rala!
te unhaa.n paaNiaa.n dharat nuu.n dittaa paaNii laa!

Someone filled the five rivers with poison,
And this same water now irrigates our soil.

jitthe vajdii phuuk pyaar di ve oh vanjhli gayi guaach
ranjhe de sab veer aj bhul gaye usdi jaach

Where was lost the flute, where the songs of love sounded?
And all Ranjha's brothers forgotten to play the flute.

dharti te lahu vasiya, qabran payiyan choN
preet diyan shaahazaadiiaa.n aj vich mazaaraa.n roN

Blood has rained on the soil, graves are oozing with blood,
The princesses of love cry their hearts out in the graveyards.

aj sab 'qaido' baN gaye, husn ishq de chor
aj kitho.n liaaiie labbh ke waaris shah ik hor

Today all the Quaido'ns* have become the thieves of love and beauty,
Where can we find another one like Waris Shah?

aaj aakhan waaris shah nooN kito.n qabra.n vicho.n bol!
te aj kitab-e-ishq da koi agla varka phol!

Waris Shah! I say to you, speak from your grave
And add a new page to your book of love.

[*Quaido'n, a maternal uncle of Heer in "Heer Ranjha" is the villain who betrays the lovers]

Wednesday, 29 September 2004

Images of England & Southall

On a recent trip England....shots taken on my Olympus Stylus digital.

FYI: Southall is known as little Punjab and acts as shopping magnet for the Punajabi diaspora in Europe and beyond...

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Friday, 6 August 2004

The Village



Whilst it's still fresh in my mind, we saw 'The Village' last night at the cinema. Directed by M.Night Shyamalan (Signs, 6th Sense, Unbreakable) - the film revolves around an isolated Pennsylvania village surrounded by dark forests. A sinister presence inhabits the woods, and the story revolves around the consequences of when the villagers transgress the boundaries of the forest.

In some respects this movie is the antithesis of 'Signs' where the power of faith gave one the ability to fight back; in 'The Village' unquestioning blind faith has a paralyzing effect on people in the face of adversity.

I give this movie a thumbs up. 8 out of 10.

Thursday, 5 August 2004

The Box



Is there a modern philosophical equivalent of Pandora's Box ? Must we rely upon a tale from ancient Greek mythology to act as our only metaphor for describing that which we have all been tempted to open at some point ?

Why can't the act of opening be a positive moment, to be celebrated...rather than forever going on a guilt trip ? Or is part of life's bargain that the Box remains sealed ?

For every popular saying, there is a counter-saying..."many hands make light work" versus "too many cooks spoil the broth" or "curiosity killed the cat" versus "nothing ventured, nothing gained"...

LOL...my meandering ramblings don't appear to be going anywhere really.... :)

Sunday, 4 July 2004

Getting stuck in your ways ?

Is there an age in life when you lose your behavioural elasticity and become routine based, and your personal preferences for even the most mundane of things like eating & shopping does not become a matter for negotiation ?

When you're at school or uni, life can feel like one big theme park and you can make new friendships daily and therefore become exposed to new vibrant influences which alters your attitude daily. However, once you start working or start a long term relationship, have a family, buy property etc - does your outlook slowly become more rigid and parochial ? Is there anything that can be done to reverse this degeneration of the open, flexible mind ? My curiosity is always piqued when I meet 20-something years old who act like 50 year olds, and vice versa....

Friday, 2 July 2004

Sikhs in Italy

Una numerosa comunità di indiani Sikh, attratta dalle opportunità di lavoro, specialmente nell'industria conciaria, si è stabilita nella cittadina di Arzignano, in provincia di Vicenza

Translated:

A numerous community of Sikh Indians, attracted from the job opportunities, especially in the industry of hides, has established itself in the small city of Arzignano, in province of Vicenza, northern Italy.

Here's the link with a great photo gallery. :)

http://www.dinofracchia.it/sikh/index.htm







Monday, 21 June 2004

CBCDs lack intellect

[Excerpts taken from another desi website I frequent. Identities have been altered to protect the innocent :) ]

Discuss...!

I've spent 5 years here in the big country and I can count all the intelligent conversations I've had with Canadian 2nd gen desis here on one hand. I'm not looking for Einsteinesque conversations, or sit around sipping Chardonnay around some glass coffee table discussing da Vinci Code or Tagore like one of those late night discussion shows on public network TV which no one ever watches.

They just seem to lack a global 'big picture' perspective on things, unable to switch between macro and micro level realities.

And don't get me started on their sense of humour...

...and they talk so slooowwww..

Man, on days like this I miss Europe.

Spheric.


CBCD #1 responds:
Who have you been talking too? I agree about the sense of humor. North American humor is not that funny but I also don't get british humor either. Maybe the lack of intellect is because we're too hooked on hockey to are about anything else.

Brit1 responds:
Haha!

CBCD #2 responds:
yup us indo-canadians only know 3 things: bbqs, canadian club whisky and hockey

Brit2 says:
Man...after reading this thread I'm having second thoughts about going to Canada this summer.
Sandeep...what do you say...should we go to sunny Skegness instead?

CBCD #1 says:
Maybe brits talk too fast???

CBCD #3:
ask XYZ...i don't talk slow at all

Spheric:
As long as you don't talk too much that is okay..feel free to exceed the speed limit.. :)

Brit3 says:
hmmm... i hate generalisations, but i'd say the canadians just aren't politicised enough. i have a cousin who's fantastic for intelligent conversation, but even he's not too clued up on world current affairs.
i think the problem might be that you're too dominated by american news, and then the desis switch off from that and end up reading nothing.
i have to admit that i found the media in canada really rubbish. when I was there a couple of years ago, the Toronto Star just kept on going about Sars and the upcoming rolling stones concert. i spent more time on british websites reading up on what was going on around the world than canadian.
plus we're not as much into desi gurudwara politics, because we've been here for longer.

CBCD #4 responds:
Brit3, have you ever heard the sleeping elephant, scared mouse analogy? the us is the elephant and canada is the mouse....every breath the elephant takes affects the mouse. and as for our broadcasting.....it's all bloody american....CBC is the only thing canada can truly claim, but even that in recent years, has been americanised...and this newspaper business....well obviously newspapers are going to go on about one thing and one thing only if they've got nothing else local to talk about!

Sunday, 6 June 2004

Reading Lolita in Tehran



This book is a beautiful read. Nafisi has scripted a masterpiece at so many different levels - the transformative power of fiction over the human spirit, what it feels like to be a woman living in the joke that is the Islamic Republic of Iran, of friendships gained and lost, the sadness of leaving one's country. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone....

Tuesday, 1 June 2004

Review: Da Vince Code



I normally run a mile before I read anything that is hyped up and marketed as a page turner, but in the case of the 'Da Vinci Code' I'll make an exception. I don't think it was that well-written - it's the intriguing historical concepts that keep you going - about how politicized the documenting of religious history actually is, often driven by the agenda of a minority.

Without giving too much of the plot away, before reading the book I often wondered about how was it possible that Jesus led a bachelor life in a time and land when to remain unmarried and without issue was unthinkable ? And why did the Roman Catholic Church pursue a patriarchal agenda over the past 1000 years or so ? And that only a few Gospels were ever incorporated in the New Testament, and the majority of other Gospels seemingly excluded ? What information did those other Gospels contain ?

..definitely makes you think.

Score: 9/10

Saturday, 29 May 2004

Review: Dragonfire

"Missile launch from Pakistan!" shouted Unni Krishnan
"Target?" snapped back Hari Dixit.
"Uncertain, sir. We won't know until re-entry".
"Warhead?".
"Not known."
"Time to impact?"
"Estimated three minutes. Do we launch?".
"Launch site?"
"Kagan. Northern Pakistan. 34 degrees 47 North. 73 degrees 36 East"

"Get me Hamid Khan".
"They're not picking up, sir," said an aide-de-camp.
"Permission to counter-strike, sir" said a voice which Dixit didn't recognize.
"Confirm number of enemy missiles?"
"Two,sir"
"Time to impact two minutes twenty-eight seconds"
"Waiting your instructions, sir".

(scene from the underground National Command Centre, Karwana, Haryana, India).




What are the circumstances that would lead to a nuclear war breaking out on the Indian sub-continent ? That is the aim of this fictional account by Humphrey Hawksley, a BBC journalist who used to report from Asia. Drawing on his years of experience and insight into diplomatic and military knowledge gained, the story is set in 2007 and describes a full-scale war between India on one side, and Pakistan and China on the other. The initial flashpoints of tension are Kashmir and Tibet with insurgency and counter-insurgency action escalating into initially conventional, then thermo-nuclear warfare.

Hawksley's setting is realistic enough, describing each nation's current command and control structures, the location of each nation's major military bases, the military hardware and technology, as well as the domestic political faultlines in each country that leads to war. Pakistan is in the grip of a military dictatorship, and Hawksley correctly points out that the Pak nuclear strategy, given the numerical inferiority of its conventional forces, is based on a first-strike capability. China is preoccupied with gaining regional and global superpower status and views India as a threat to its ambitions. India, facing attacks on both the western and eastern borders, is increasing forced to take more extreme measures, but out of principle, refuses to counter-strike with nuclear weapons.

Without giving the plot away, the novel shows what an outcome would look like. The war exposes divisions in the West, with the US and her allies divided on how to respond. Pakistan is finished as a nation state, and the world sees a new more potent cold war developing with ever shifting alliances.

A good read - 8 out of 10.

Wednesday, 19 May 2004

Manmohan Singh

Today is a good day.

The news that Manmohan Singh, a fellow Sikh, is to become the next Prime Minister of India - has made me happy.

It's about time the world realized who Sikhs are. Sikh achievements in commerce, politics, the armed forces, arts and music, are out of all proportion to our minority status. I hope Manmohan Singh manages to knock some sense into the empty headed politicians in both France and the US.

If I sound partisan or tribalistic, or even nationalistic, then I unashamedly make no apologies. We've gone through a lot of crap historically, including attempted genocide by various rulers of India, the Anglo-Sikh wars, the 1947 Partition, the subsequent dismemberment of East Punjab into Haryana and Himachal Pradesh by the Hindi speaking lobby, the 1984 Delhi riots, the 9/11 backlash against innocent Sikhs etc.

Today is a good day. :-)

Wednesday, 12 May 2004

Yeh Zameen

One of my fav songs from Vital Signs...

Haste chehray, mehkay angan, thandee shaamain, raseelay sanwan
jo bhi kuch hai, isi se hai
Yehi hamari Laila hai
Yehi hamari Sohni hai
Yehi hamari Sassi hai
Heer bhi apni yehi zameen
Yehi zameen, yehi zameen, yehi zameen, yehi zameen, bus yehi zameen, yehi zameeeeeeeen...
Khushbo iski, rang iske, jeena marna sang iske, hum to lagge ang iske
Yehi hai gori ki payal
Yehi hai ankhon ka kajal
maathay ka teeka bhi yehi
Yehi hai haathon ki mehndi
Yehi zameen yehi zameen.....
Yehi rasta, yehi manzil, yehi kushti, yehi sahil, yehi jaan hai, yehi hai dil
Aao apnay jeevan main pahla is ka naam likhain
phelay is ki baat karain
jo apni pehchaan bani
Yehi zameen yehi zameen.....

Monday, 10 May 2004

Native Indian Philosophy



Sioux Indian war cry:
"Hoka Hey"....Today is a good day to die

*******************************
"In the beginning of all things, wisdom and knowledge were with the animals, for Tirawa, the One Above, did not speak directly to man. He sent certain animals to tell men that he showed himself through the beast, and that from them, and from the stars and the sun and moon should man learn.. all things tell of Tirawa."

"All things in the world are two. In our minds we are two, good and evil. With our eyes we see two things, things that are fair and things that are ugly.... We have the right hand that strikes and makes for evil, and we have the left hand full of kindness, near the heart. One foot may lead us to an evil way, the other foot may lead us to a good. So are all things two, all two."

Eagle Chief (Letakos-Lesa) Pawnee

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"The Great Spirit is in all things, he is in the air we breathe. The Great Spirit is our Father, but the Earth is our Mother. She nourishes us, that which we put into the ground she returns to us...."
Big Thunder (Bedagi) Wabanaki Algonquin

********************************


*********************************
"Traditional people of Indian nations have interpreted the two roads that face the light-skinned race as the road to technology and the road to spirituality. We feel that the road to technology.... has led modern society to a damaged and seared earth. Could it be that the road to technology represents a rush to destruction, and that the road to spirituality represents the slower path that the traditional native people have traveled and are now seeking again? The earth is not scorched on this trail. The grass is still growing there."
William Commanda, Mamiwinini, Canada, 1991

***********************************
"A wee child toddling in a wonder world, I prefer to their dogma my excursions into the natural gardens where the voice of the Great Spirit is heard in the twittering of birds, the rippling of mighty waters, and the sweet breathing of flowers. If this is Paganism, then at present, at least, I am a Pagan."
Zitkala-Sa

***************************************
"Treat the earth well: it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children. We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors, we borrow it from our Children."
Ancient Native Indian Proverb

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Tuesday, 13 April 2004

Review: Gates of Fire

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The inner meaning of this book is about Phobos - the fear. How do you confront your fear of death, of tortured pain, of collective shoulder to shoulder brotherly self sacrifice, saying goodbye to all you cherish and love, for the sake of self preservation ? At the same time, the book distills what it means to be a leader, not just of others, but master of yourself too.

The book is fictionalized account of one of the greatest stands in military history. It re-tells the events that led up to the actual historical battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C., a narrow rocky mountain pass in Northern Greece, when 300 elite Spartan warriors blocked the narrow pass and engaged in bloody hand to hand combat with upto a quarter of a million invading Persian troops for 7 days and nights.

The book is both disturbing and awe-inspiring. It will remain on my top 5 list for a very long time.

Sunday, 11 April 2004

What is Love ?

Listening (and dare I say, singing along) to Haddaway's 'What is Love' at full blast on the car stereo this morning is/was such a liberating experience... :) Just gotta love those 90's club Euro-Anthems..... :-))

"What is love
Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
no more

Oh I don't know
why you're not fair
I give you my love
but you don't care
So what is right
and what is wrong
gimme a sign"

(chorus x2)...etcetara, etcetara....


Thursday, 1 April 2004

Anglicizing desi names - why ?

Since moving to Canada from the UK, one of the more noticeable differences I have found amongst the desi community here in Canada is a wider acceptance to anglicize south asian names. I find it curiously interesting to meet non-Christian desis (ie. Sikh/Hindu/Muslim) who have white sounding nicknames, which is perhaps either due to pronounciation difficulties by white folk or because they want to be assimilated asap. I look around and every other brown guy (esp realtors) is a Ricky/Bobby/Gary or Dave. Girls have punjabi sounding names like Natasha, Annabelle and Mary-Lou. In this brave new world of "integration", Mohammed has become Mickey and Arjun has become Andrew.

I'm not seeking to bash any desi with a white name - far from it - we've all got to survive one way or another, but I find this an interesting sociological phenomenon. Anyway, I found this article on the web (from Little India) which explored this theme in more detail. Enjoy.


*****************************************

The head of the Asian American Hotel Owners Association a few years ago was Mukesh “Mike” Patel. He is not alone. Sometimes I feel like introducing myself as “Victor” instead of as “V as in Very, I as in Insulted,” and so on (you can imagine the problems I run into with the V, “did you say W,” no “V,” yes “W,” werry, werry annoying). It can take an age to get through my name and then, often, the person on the phone or in front of me seems to have a hard time getting much else of what I say. The fact of foreignness makes me suddenly undecipherable.

“Can you repeat that?” “Whaaat?” Those who work in small business, mainly retail, cannot afford to bear the everyday trauma of fighting these small acts of racist parochialism. Why should the migrant bear the bile of each interaction when the Anglo can just walk away, confirmed in his or her mind that these immigrants are paranoid and a bit unsteady, but hard-working workers nonetheless? No wonder we have “Mike” Patel or else Rajendran “Roger” Rajan or Fazrul “Freddy” Rahman.

Among many desis this is not new. Names like Sweety and Tiny, Tinku and Pinku, fill-up the address books of middle-class India. But these are names of love and not of strategic assimilation in a racist land. Dimple and Simple come from the bosom of a family’s love, and not from the small decisions made by a migrant about how best to survive the indignity of “can you repeat that.” The names of one’s childhood become the name of the beloved home, while these new names in quotes are the name of the hostile market.

Women tend not to anglicize their names (how often have you heard of Sushmita “Suzy” Sen or Ayesha “Abby” Bano?). Manavi founder Shamita Das Dasgupta and her doctor daughter Sayantani argue that desi men experience racism as a form of emasculation, that the pressures of white supremacy disturb our manliness. Even if this is partly the case, one could accept that the turn to anglicize names among men may be an attempt to say, “I am a Man” and not be treated as an inferior “Boy.” To have one’s name mocked, to be seen as the standing-joke, the Peter-Sellers-Birdy-Num-Num-Apu of the lotIthis is the sort of indignity that prods at the whiskers of a desi male.

White supremacy tends to see desi women, indeed most women of color, as thoroughly sexual: either as an exotic cultural icon, or else as the drudge reproducer of more and more dusky workers. For this reason, perhaps, desi women do not always experience the immense pressure to change their names, indeed they may even be graced with a comment about the beauty of their names.

Pradip “Peter” Kothari is the president of the Indian Business Association in Middlesex County, New Jersey. In 1990 he says that only five or ten Indian businesses catered to the almost 8,000 desis in Middlesex. A decade later, the county, whose main town is Iselin, houses almost 50,000 desis and boasts over 300 desi stores, from the grocery store to the video store, to the sari plaza to the many different kinds of restaurants. The headquarters of this desi bonanza is the Mahatma Gandhi Plaza, and you know it’s getting busy, says Anita Kaur, when “you can’t find parking.”

“Peter” must go by his new name when he tends to his business associates outside the ethnic world of Mahatma Gandhi Plaza, for he would hardly need to spell Pradip in this haven for ethnic business. When he goes to the banks and the insurance offices, when he “networks” with other small businesspeople, he must feel the sting of inferiority when he gets that glazed look in response to the sound of his voice.

America throws out a branding reproach to its new dwellers: assimilate into me, it seems to say. But how do we do that? The workers (who drive taxis, clean homes, and work in retail or industry) exert their labor into the mainstream of U.S. life, and all they get for it are paltry wages. Some desi retail businesses try to break into the mainstream of small business activity, but they must live in two worlds if they intend to survive.

Take the case of travel agents, many of whom try to do all manner of business, but then create an ethnic niche as their anchor: they create special packages to India, both for the desis on the annual pilgrimage and for the tourists eager for instant enlightenment - somewhere between Bharat Darshan and Dharma Darshan. Profits are eked out by this, among other, necessary, if rather pathetic, attempts to bestraddle the desi market and the demands of economic-cultural conformity. And then the rest open unapologetic ethnic shops, to barter ethnicity on the small scale for a measly living.

We might become “Peter” or “Max,” but not only because we are eager to be American. We do it as a strategic way to survive economically in a racist society. “Peter” and “Max” do not offer evidence that desis are zealous about assimilation. What they tell us is that this country is loath to accept us for our cultural resources. The small acts of racism, and the reminder that we are “foreign,” is used by white supremacy to make us accede to lower wages and to lower the prices in our shops - strategic choices to survive in a racist environment. “Peter” is a measure of racism, not of assimilation.

When I, as a desi immigrant, go to a Puerto Rican bodega in Hartford, I often ask people about their lives. “Where are you from,” someone may ask, and I say, “India.” The conversation is sometimes interesting and enriching. But, there are times when an Anglo asks me “where are you from,” and I feel like they are really asking me “when are you going home.”

A Puerto Rican friend, Luis Figueroa, calls me “Victor Perez,” as if to assimilate me into his cultural world. I’ve taken to calling him Luis-mian, just to make sure the transit is both ways. He’s not asking when I go home; he’s welcoming me into another America, one that says home is not where you come from, but what we make of it, drawing from our various pasts. And from our many, strategic uses of culture.

Monday, 1 March 2004

First post

I'm going to start posting here soon, and use this as a central place for my observations from life in general. Till now my thoughts have been scattered all over the web.

Some of what I post may appear dated as they were written in times gone past, but I still think they feel valid and applicable to my view of the world..