"He was a good man......"

Why is it that we only say great things about people after they have died and not during their lifetime ? Why do we have that anguished sense of regret of having missed the opportunity to express real appreciation of another person's company, their contribution and general presence ?

If we spent a fraction of the time and effort used to create an eloquent eulogy praising another (deceased) human being, to instead say that to their face - isn't that sufficient reward just to see their smiling reaction to those words of praise ?

Some things I will never quite fathom.

Gated Communities

Having read a few articles about gated residential communities in South Africa (mainly inhabited by affluent minority whites), complete with 24 hour armed patrols, in-built panic alarms in each house and steel bars on external windows etc, I wondering how much would each of us ever consider living in a fortress style gated community ?

What does the existence of a gated community say about the society you live in and about you ? Is it symbolic of a dysfunctional society whose social-moral framework has broken down between the haves and the have-nots ? Does having a gated community give legitimacy to the existence of structural social and economic inequalities ? Or is having a siege like mentality the only viable sane response to a situation where law and order has broken down and violent crime is endemic ?